Leaving a part of me for you
by Pretty Boy's Girl
Summary: AU ending for The Name of The Doctor (Spoilers 7x13) - One shot that starts from when The Doctor notices River and her goodbye. But this time she tells him the secret she has kept from him for years.


**Hello:) This is my first work posted on Fan fiction so please be nice. Reviews are greatly appreciated so i you could take the time i would e most grateful. :)**

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He was really starting to anger me. Why does he always risk his life to save others. I wish just once he would think about his own life first. "There has to be another way. Use the TARDIS! Use something! Save her, yes but for God's sake be some sort of..." I raised my hand to slap him as I always do when he is being an idiot. That is when the impossible happened. Before I could reach his face he grabbed my wrist and turned to face me. His brown eyes staring straight into mine. "How are you even doing that?!" I asked breathing heavily from the shock of it. "I'm not really here." Slightly confused and amazed I waited for his answer to the impossible. "You are always here to me. And I always listen. And I can always here you." He answered his voice more hushed than I was expecting. "Then why didn't you speak to me?" I was ever so slightly hurt by the fact he knew I was there, His wife, and he still ignored me. He looked around before answering again his voice hushed. "Because I thought it would hurt too much." I was touched by the sentiment but still annoyed. "I believe I could have coped." I answered raising my eyebrows slightly. He was quick to respond this time. "No. I thought it would hurt me." I saw him look around awkwardly. The way he always did when he had to admit his emotions. "And I was right." We looked into each others eyes for a moment, pure passion and lust easily visible between us. Before he dropped my wrist from his strong grasp and before I knew it his hands were holding the side of my face and his lips pecking mine before he kissed me deeper. I responded instantly. I never thought that I would have him kissing me ever again. Can you imagine how that feels having the one thing you have dreamed of happening for years happen. It's a feeling you can't describe and was over all to quickly. He kept close as he pulled away. I smiled at him and could feel the tears smarting in my eyes. He moved his hands slightly so that his thumbs were caressing the apple of each of my cheeks. He broke the silence between us. Since nobody else in this room can see us god knows how that looked." He said out loud. Jenny, Vastra, Strax and Javeria all looked confused but said nothing. "Still holding on to my face he kept speaking directly to me regardless of him looking like a mad man. "There is a time to live and a time to sleep. You are an echo River. Like Clara, like all of us. In the end my fault I know, but you should have faded by now." I smiled at him and explained. "It's hard to leave when you haven't said goodbye."

"Then tell me how do I say it." He was getting flustered I could tell. He really did not like goodbyes in the slightest. "There's only one way I could accept but before that I need to tell you something." He looked at me in that way he always did when he wanted to know exactly what I knew. "4 years ago. When I sacrificed myself in the library I left two very important things behind. The first my love, obviously was you. Even though you didn't know who I was and what we had been through together it still killed me inside to leave you. The second, was a child only 11 years of age. My daughter, Doctor. The impossible child made by you and me. I never got to say goodbye to her either." I glanced over at Javeria smiling slightly before facing him again. "River we have a child! Why did you never tell me?" I sighed, knowing this question would come sooner or later. " I had to keep her a secret. With us being all back to front I couldn't risk you meeting her before you properly knew me. You had to decide whether you loved me for yourself." I smiled. The doctor looked for a moment and nodded his head slightly to show me he understood and was not angry with me. "Where is this child River I want to find her and tell her all about her amazing mother." His thumbs carried on caressing my face as he searched for answers. I smiled. "Oh doctor why she's right here. She has already found you." He looked around the room and his eyes suddenly landed on Javeria. I saw them widen and he looked back at me. I simply nodded. "Is there any way doctor that she can see me again as you are now. I don't think I can go again without saying goodbye." He pondered for a moment. "I suppose I can make a connection with her. Let her into my head so she can see and experience what I am seeing. But i don't know how easy it will be. It might hurt her." River shook her head. "She is a strong girl she can take it I promise you! Please just try I need to do this doctor. She deserves to see my one last time." He nodded and beckoned Javeria over before sending the other 3 out of the room so they had some privacy. "Javeria. I need you to trust me." She said looking into the young girls eyes. Javeria nodded. "Right OK then. Take my hands and close you eyes. That's it just relax. OK I am going to let you into my mind. Now It may hurt a little but you will be able to see and hear everything I can." She nodded and closed her eyes. I could see him closing his eyes and knew he was blocking the amount of information she could have to just seeing and hearing the same as him. Slowly he put his for head against hers and after a soft moan he pulled away. " OK Javeria when you open your eyes you will be able to see what I can. Are you ready." Javeria nodded slightly and slowly opened her eyes. I stood there smiling waiting for her to see me. She gasped and I could see the tears in her eyes. "Mum. Is that really you. But your... your dead." She walked over to me and took my hand. "I know sweat pea. It's complicated and we don't have enough time to explain. I have to go soon and I wanted to say good bye this time." She nodded and flung her arms around my neck hugging me tightly tears slipping from her eyes. I hugged her back placing a kiss into her mane of curly ginger hair. "Oh baby you have grown so much. You look like a proper woman now." I said holding her at arms length and looking at her properly for the first time. Her hair was nearly to her bum and still as thick and curly as it was. She had grown taller an slimmer, Her arms and legs looked toned from exercise. She had the most amazing green eyes and facial features like her father. "I take it the women I left you with had died." Javeria nodded. "And you found the doctor and followed him." Javeria nodded again. "I remember you talking about him mum. I can't remember why but he seemed important to you and you trusted him. I remember you saying if I ever need any help to find him and I did." I nodded. "Well done baby. The reason was that he is you father Javeria and I promise you he will look after you whatever it takes." She just nodded shocked. "I have to go soon baby." I said pulling her into my arms. I could feel her small body shake with her powerful sobs. "I am so so proud of you baby. Never forget me." We pulled away one last time and she stood back with the doctor still sobbing. "The only way I can accept doctor, If you ever loved me, say it like you are going to come back." He just stood for a moment looking at all of my features before speaking. "Well then." He moved back slightly sighing before speaking. "See you around professor River Song." I smiled at him. "Till the next time, Doctor."

"Don't wait up."

"Oh there's one more thing." He laughed quietly. "Isn't there always." I just raised an eyebrow at him. "I was mentally linked with Clara. If she's really dead the how can I still be here?" He had is thinking face on. "OK. How?" He asked my probably already knowing the answer I would have to give. "Spoilers." I said with a massive grin on my face knowing he probably would never here me say those words ever again. "Goodbye Sweetie. Look after her for me." And then I had disappeared leaving the two alone for the first time.


End file.
